Have you ever attended a Death Cafe?

You probably didn’t even know that such a thing existed. I didn’t either until I started researching (prompted by the Holy Spirit) the subject of death; specifically how it relates to living in the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

According to the sponsor’s website, Death Cafe is a gathering were you eat cake, drink tea, and discuss death. “Our objective is to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.”

The first Death Cafe is said to have met in an East London basement in 2011. The organizer was Jon Underwood, a 40-year-old Web designer. Since 2011, there have been over 7,000 Death Cafes offered in 60 countries.

The idea for the Death Cafe came about as Underwood, who was a Buddhist, pondered the writings of Bernard Crettaz, a Swiss sociologist and ethnologist. Crettaz wrote about the rites and customs that accompany death in society. Following the death of his own wife, Crettaz held the first Cafe Mortel in Geneva, Switzerland.

Crettaz’ idea, which Underwood adopted, was to normalize talking about death in order to dispel the myths, misunderstanding, and fear.

The premise from which Crettaz and Underwood operated is that death is the ultimate “elephant in the living room.” Everyone knows it is there but no one wants to talk about it. Consciously and unconsciously, according to the experts, death is something the average person thinks about a lot but something the average person seldom speaks out loud. This same average person chooses, rather, the rosier path where thoughts of death are quickly dismissed, where the reality of death is denied, and where the subject of death is categorized as pointless and always depressing.

Living in a world where death is inevitable and a constant occurrence makes ignoring this enormous, smelly household beast difficult, if not impossible. But most try any way.

Sociologists say that death has always been a difficult subject for humans and that time has not lessened the fear and anxiety. In fact, evidence is showing that peoples’ negative emotional response about dying is actually increasing. With the major factor being that fewer people hold religious beliefs in modern society.

That should be extremely good news for we Christians. After all, our belief is centered on a God who became Man and was born to die. In fact, we celebrate His death and His resurrection with equal passion. The death of Jesus Christ is precious to Christians.

In the Body of Christ, Catholics probably focus the most on death since Jesus’ death (and resurrection) is front and center at all Masses, which are held daily all over the world. “We hold the death of our Lord, deep in our hearts,” is the opening line of a popular Catholic hymn written by David Haas and epitomizes an important aspect of the faith. (Hear the song and see the lyrics here.

Eucharist is entirely about the death – and resurrection – of Jesus. This “breaking of the bread” ritual commemorates Jesus giving Himself over to death on the cross. It is only through His death – and resurrection – that we can be freed from the hold that sin has on us in order to fully accept the unconditional love and forgiveness of God.

Attending a recent funeral of a relatively young friend, her death and the death and resurrection of Jesus were linked by family members as they spoke about their loved one’s journey. Her belief that Jesus willingly died so she could know and accept the love and forgiveness of God, was what sustained her through the years after the cancer diagnosis.

Her genuine love for Jesus lessened her anxiety and fear of death to almost non-existent. “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known,” Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12. This is the same Paul who wrote later in 1 Corinthians 15:31, “I die every day.” Translated from the original text, Paul was expressing his daily awareness of the reality of his own physical death. There is no doubt that Paul had little, or no, anxiety and fear of death. He actually looked excitedly forward (as did my friend) to the day when he would “know fully.”

Death Cafe should be a place where Christians flock. We should love talking about death. And there are a myriad of discussions Christians can have around the subject.

How about that scripture calls death the enemy of God and in 1 Corinthians 15:16 Paul writes that it will be the last enemy destroyed? Does this mean that making peace with death or accepting death as inevitable is cooperating with an enemy of God? Does this mean that we should fight furiously against death at all times and in all situations?

Is death “destroyed” when we begin to live fully in the Kingdom of Jesus Christ and when he have all “come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ (Ephesians 4:13)”? It would seem that once matured to the “full stature of Christ,” we would be so focused on God and His plans and purposes that we would have no fear of anything life brings; including death.

Another good question for Death Cafe discussion would be “Why do we die?” A possible answer from the Christian viewpoint would be that we die to enter fully into God’s unconditional love and forgiveness which is fully available to us during life but what we simply can’t or won’t enter into in the land of the living. This inability for humans to wholly accept God’s unconditional love and forgiveness during life could be rooted in the truth that in doing so we have to accept that God’s unconditional love and forgiveness is not only for me but for everyone equally. And this gets us on to another discussion about forgiveness but we will hold that until another blog.

Still another good question for Death Cafe is about Paul’s writing in I Corinthians 15:56: “O death, where is they sting? O death, where is your victory.” He goes on to explain in this passage that the sting of death is sin and that the power of sin is the law. So as we move away from sin and the law into repentance, forgiveness and freedom in Jesus Christ, does the sting and victory of death go away?

Yet another good question is Paul’s emphasis on death being the last enemy to be destroyed. Does this indicate Godly order? Charles Spurgeon, a mid-17th century Baptist preacher, suggested that Paul’s words do indicate an appointed order and that we need to let the last be last. “I have known a brother wanting to vanquish death long before he died,” Spurgeon said. “But, brother, you do not want dying grace till dying moments. What would be the good of dying grace while you are yet alive? A boat will only be needful when you reach a river. Ask for living grace, and glorify Christ thereby, and then you shall have dying grace when dying time comes.”

Another Spurgeon quote (from a sermon titled “Dying Daily”) that would be good discussion material for Death Cafe, is his seven steps to how we can die daily as Paul did. The seven are:

• Every day seriously test your hope and experience.

• Come every day, just as you did at conversion, to the cross of Jesus.